Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in bajaoc's LiveJournal:

Saturday, May 28th, 2005
10:55 pm	moving adventures I said in March when I moved back to the LBC, and I'm saying it again today, I don't like moving. It was easier having a Uhaul instead of the LA Times van and two pickups, and it was cool that Melanie and/or her bf paid for it. It was great that George helped out, he and I did most of the work. Lifting heavy furniture up a flight of stairs through a long winding apartment complex: still not cool. These stairs were short and straight at least, with plenty of room. My move involved turning the opposite direction in midair with a heavy desk, so heavy I promised not to take it with me next time I move. I won't..I'll hire people to take it out next time, get 2 of the people I saw on the corner waiting for work this morning, give them 100 bucks for a few hours of work, maybe more, and tell them "vaya con dios"... If I go to the beach tomorrow, and I see a cute big girl, I am going to check her out, and smile... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 19th, 2005
7:28 pm	adventures so I didn't go to the beach after all. felt too sick. these last two days have been prime beach weather, maybe saturday. Two of my friends have birthdays on saturday. I should introduce them...It's cool to meet someone with the same birthday, I know two other sets of people born on the same day, one being me and an old friend, the other my best friend and his old friend. In both cases there's a special bond between us. It might just be coincidence but... My buddy had a magazine today with models, similar to Maxim with more models and less articles, and the models were thick, not as thick as I like, but more attractive than the typical stick figure. Most of them had beautiful faces too, and my thoughts drifted to big girls wearing bikinis in the summer sun walking across the sand, as they often do... The Dodger game on Monday wasn't the best time...traffic getting there, tickets not where I thought they were and not very good, Kristen not getting her job on CSI for sure and being really bummed, and the Dodgers losing again. They were only down 4-2 when the 8th inning came, but I just wanted to leave like a lot of Dodger fans. Not all, like the stereotype, maybe a thousand? No comeback, and Kristen and I haven't seen each other since...I think I want to see her in about a week and hopefully with Ally, that might cement us being friends. I'm going to see George tonite before he flies to Mexico to see the girl he really likes, so much that he is learning Spanish because she doesn't know English. They met in a TJ bar when I saw her and another girl with a guy, I saw her looking around and called her over. Her name is Laura, not sure how old but looks young. I know it sounds crazy that they hooked up like they did, and there are a lot of reasons why it won't work, and George is one to fall for a girl hard and fast, and get hurt in one way or another. It's funny how Ruth went back and forth with him, finally deciding she wasn't in love like he was, and George couldn't be friends with someone he loved. It sounds like Katie and I, somewhat...I don't love her like that, but we do still share a friendship. I'm the one helping her move after all, every time before, and that's what true friends do. Nobody really volunteers, your sorta friends will make up excuses...Chris volunteered to help, which meant a lot to me. I'm glad to be his roommate and his friend. More to come, when only God knows... (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 14th, 2005
3:58 am	Now that I look at it, I guess it would be today Today is the beach day, and I should really be sleeping...browsing online saw a page for the movie Real Women have Curves which I should see already. Should have seen it in the theater, sheeeet. I was sleeping. I won't curse proper in this journal, just cartoon almost cursing. See, I said sheet! Not something else, which I say too much in everyday conversation. They don't say "Cuss like a longshoreman" for nothing...even my grandma does it all the time, mostly joking but still... So yeah I'm not going to bed yet. I was going to end the last, first journal with something which I entirely forgot, starting a tangent about cursing. That's cool though, because I write more that way, and seem more intelligent. That's how you make it thru school papers and essays on tests. I stretched out a paper on Iraq which had to be 8 pages to almost 9, somehow. After being in school for almost a year now, and getting almost 30 credits part time, I respect anyone who graduates from college. It's hard work, even if you don't have to pay your own way and work at the same time. Katie had a golf scholarship and she didn't have to work a job, but it was still hard work finishing all those sociology and other classes, writing all those papers. I'm not looking forward to that. The Iraq paper was easier because it was a subject I cared about and knew about, had followed how we went to war with a questionable, at best, justification. The truth, and I realized this recently, is we needed, and need for the sake of the whole world economy, to make sure Iraq was stable due to their massive energy reserves. It's true, and it's not entirely bad. I think, however, that the massive profits of the rich few at the expense of millions more is bad. Bad rich! Maybe I'll write something anthropological, like how most cultures throughout the world, poor and ignored by the powers that be, still find bigger women the most attractive. Bigger means richer, more secure, more able to eat than others. I guess that's part of how I feel too, when I think about what I like so much about girls that are bigger than most and looked down on by much of our society. The utter confidence and assuredness of their beauty that Ivy and Tami have is wonderful, because I don't think I've ever met a girl who felt quite that way about herself. I imagined how it must feel, going thru girl after girl who would respond to my attraction by saying they were beautiful to me, but not everybody else. That's what they usually focus on. When girls like the supermodels, of which there are a few more out there than the two I talk about, present themselves as confident and sexy, it sets a great example for girls, younger mostly. Of course, guys who like them have to do their part too and date, befriend, and let the girls know how much they like them, just like they are. Or maybe a little bigger wouldn't hurt... 20 after 4 and I'm still doing this. I meant to give an example of other cultures' beauty ideal in Thailand, the jumbo queen competition, best looking girl, and a prize for the biggest girl also. I saw a picture of the winner, and I thought she looked great, even at 401 to be exact. I guess in writing this I want someone to see it and tell me they agree, not just that it's ok to feel that way, even though I feel differently. Ivy's going to school for fashion design, so she can make clothes, I assume, for all the girls just like her. And then model them after designing them. Even if they're too small...I'd love to talk to a girl like her, hard to find or not. I also want to talk to guys who agree with me, and look at the same girls as me when we go out for a beer or the beach or wherever...concerts are good, I'd love to go to that show at Angel stadium with Gwen Stefani and Kelly Clarkson next weekend. All kinds of girls, a lot of underage, but there's always the beer garden area...besides I like their music, I'll admit it. At this point I'd rather hear them on the radio then another overplayed 50 Cent song. That's a topic for another day, for now, trying to sleep and the beach tomorrow. (Comment on this)
3:00 am	Beach day tomorrow....sweet A day off from work to enjoy the beginning of a looooong beach season. I guess it's cool to have this in place of the cruise ship season, which ends around now and it gets hard to get my favorite job out of the union hall, portering. Taking bags for passengers and maybe getting a little tip for the hard work. I worked 9 out of 12 days throwing bags ending Tuesday, took 2 days off and worked again today, short but sweet. 6 hours isn't a lot to work in a day, but we go nonstop to make our money and keep the passengers happy. At least I do...the Red Line drink helps out, that's for sure. Tastes better than Red Bull, no sugar or carbonation. It's only in health food stores, but 7-11 needs to start stocking that...stuff. If you're reading this, come out to Long Beach and take a Carnival cruise. And tip your porter well, it's good luck! Not Los Angeles, and not Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, or Princess...the U.S. customs people are pushy and the porters aren't cool like us. You'll know me, the guy taking bags, wearing blue who looks like Matt Damon, Nick Lachey, Leo DiCaprio, or whoever someone is saying I look like today... ... and smiles at all the cute chubby girls. And keeps smiling. I can't help it, they make me want to jump on board and take the cruise with them... This is my first try at the journal blog type thing, and the first time I really have written anything personal since about New Years 04. I wrote some poetry to cope with parts of my world coming down around me, 3 disasters, all of which I could have prevented in some way. I realize I have a lot to say, a lot on my mind. Maybe this will help out. I also realize staying up this late won't help me wake up tomorrow to drive to LA for the Dodger tickets. 4 awesome seats for $100. I'm stoked to take a couple friends. George, maybe..Carlos, who used to play baseball with me in HS, he was better than me, until he hurt his elbow. Maybe he could have been another Milton Bradley, Dodgers outfielder who was on the varsity at our high school...not to mention Phillies shortstop Chase Utley on the same team...and we sucked! Long Beach had such great baseball players in the 90's, and Poly had no pitching so they couldn't compete with their hitting. I have to be there at 12 noon to pick up the tickets, go meet Kristen in the Valley, then back down to Redondo Beach. I could just go later, or not at all. I am still a little sick from this flu I caught last week. I have to make it to the beach eventually, to play some volleyball, hang out with some good friends, and see some girls in bikinis...of course, I will probably not see many girls walking by who have lots of curves, the kind of girls I prefer to date, talk to, and admire...what would be great is having one friend, just one, who had the same taste I do. George is close, he likes thick girls, but not as thick as most of the girls I find attractive, at least more so than smaller ones. Small for me being a girl like Heather, who I dated in Jan and Feb, seems like ages ago. George called her thick, but for me, thick is more like Ivy and Tami who I consider supermodels by the way, and other girls who either model or should, One girl sent me a note on an online dating site who I discovered had her own website, pretty hardcore. She looked like Mexican, or some kind of mix, and she was big. Probably over 3 bills at least, and I found her on myspace as a friend of a friend. One night I showed her to George, and told him I thought she was hot. He knew I liked big girls, but not that big...haha, he should have asked my older friends...although I think she was bigger than any girl I ever dated. Another girl who I met at a big girl club in Long Beach, it turned out she had her own site too! She was from the other side of the country so I didn't really talk to her after, but she was gorgeous, and looked like a California girl, blond, i guess she was a bbbw. I don't think I've been with a girl, dated or relationship wise, who was over 300, of course girls almost never want to tell you how much they weigh. Small or big. That's part of my attraction to my "supermodels", why I want to see them in a beach babe calendar. they don't care about it, will admit it and love it, because they know how hot they are. So I would love to see them walking down the beach in a bikini, or even a midriff shirt and shorts. Plus, they are still in college, where most girls their size, or most sizes, are insecure. I'm back in college now after a few years working, and it's cool to be around cute 18, 20 year old girls, but also strange to realize that these are the same girls I was scared to talk to when I was that age, for the most part, and now I can do it easily. I guess, I know it's true that girls mature faster. Kristen is so mature for her age, I easily forget she's only 21, and has achieved a lot, graduated film college and worked on a lot of movies, like Coach Carter, and now is starting CSI New York. I'm pretty sure I just want to be friends, but I still think she's awesome, and she's unhappy with her size which I want to help her with...she thought I didn't want to go to a busy beach with her wearing a bathing suit. I said you better go with me! OK more tomorrow, maybe...beach stories...my friends looking one way at girls and me looking the other, or looking at the friend.... (Comment on this)